She has big dreams
tell me since when did i have a brother? wait no, please remind me that i look like this when i was young.
I’m beginning to appreciate my natural curls (: I’m not going to reborn anymore. I swear, i’m going to curl my hair when it reaches my butt level.
And i think mum and dad looks mad awesome. Okay fine, at least they are to me (L)
I cant stop thinking how hypocritical you’ve been all these years. It’s a new year, i’m not going to care much abt you.
I’m packing for tomorrow’s camp. Gonna head down to Damai to attend the Sec 1 orientation camp. Ciao!
I swear, this would be the longest post, get popcorns :
I finally got a chance to stay at home for the whole day. I still cant bring myself to believe that it’s already a new year. I’m turning seventeen in 3 months time. No joke. Few months ago, i felt so happy because i’m finally turning a year older. My parents can care less about me yada yada. But today, when i sat down and think back. I felt so foolish. Because I’ve wasted so many years, i screw up so much in my entire life.
I remember how kindergarden life was. So fun and interesting. Then, I didnt felt any sense of dread whenever it was monday (Well, perhaps i didnt even know what’s monday then.) My greatest regret for those years was, i couldnt buy the toys i wanted. I still remember in kindergarden 1, one of my classmate flashed himself infront of me. I didnt feel embarrass. That’s what innocent is. When graduation day came, there wasn’t any sadness. We just said bye, and head back home. I started screwing up my life in kindergarden 2. I stole a candy bar from a supermart. Thank goodness, i wasn’t caught then. Till now, i could still remember it. That was my first and last time.
On the first day of primary 1, parents then werent like the present one. They didnt took out cameras to capture down the memories of their young ones ( that’s so unlike now) on the first day of school.Perhaps they werent anxious over it (or is it only my parents?) I remembered how i didnt hand up my assignments and ended up marking it myself (Of course without my teacher’s permission). I was so innocent or put it bluntly, -foolish that once, my friend and i exchanged money. I gave her a 50 cent coin and she gave a dollar in return, So i could purchase a pencil crayon. My mum found out and my sister had to accompany me to my friend to return her the money. I didnt receive any allowance for that week. In Primary 2, i wore my friend’s specs. I thought it was so cool. And i ended up having to get one in primary 4. My form teacher then, would often punish us. And i cant remember how many countless times i’ve gotten hit on my palms due to talking non stop. I dont remember how hard i study. But at the end of first sem, i got last in class. I didnt feel sad. But in sem 2, the last sem. I was sweeping the classroom floor while teacher was announcing the class positions. and she said that the last position is the same person as sem 1. I felt so embarrassed.
In primary 3, my form teacher told us to tell the class what is our dream occupation. When it was my turn, I stood up and told the class that i want to be a police. Laughter filled the room. Until now, i’ve no idea what they’re all laughing about. In primary 4, I finally worked a little harder and got into the top 10. I felt so happy. I never know how nice the feeling was. Since then, the inside of me, wants to excel. But in primary 5 and 6, the students in my class were so smart. I was just average.
On the day psle results were release, I stood so still. Inside me, i wasnt confident at all. Thankfully, i was placed in the express stream. Till now , i could still remember how excited i was . I called my close friend the moment i reached home. We talked non stop about what school we wanted to go. We choose the same school and got in together. My maid fetched me to Damai sec for the sec 1 briefing. Inside of me felt so empty. Because all the other students had their parents with them. while me? My maid went home.
In my secondary school years, so much events took place. I spent so much time on unnecessary things.I spent almost half of my secondary school years dating and in the end it didnt work out (like i’m so glad it didnt) .Instead i got my self esteem lowered by so much. My entire sec 3 was so ruin. In my final year, i slap myself awake and told myself this cant continue. I ended everything. And from then i studied really hard.
I’m starting school in a month time. Still, i’ve so many dreams to accomplish in future. Since young, i’ve always wanted to be a model (putting police aside). But recently, i thought of part time artist. But since i screwed up so much in my life. I guess i should stop having such a fantasy about being a model/part time artist. I’m going to study really hard in poly, Perhaps sign on for 3 years with SIA after that, then move on to university and then be a police. Dont laugh, i really want to be one.
Yet another fulfilling outing (:
Such a long anticipation for 2010 to arrive. It’s finally here. It’s first January. One year ago, at this date, this time, I was rushing through all my remaining assesments. Dreading for school reopen. But now, one year later, i feel so much for wanting to go back to school. The environment. The things we do daily. It’s clouding my mind.
Few minutes before the clock striked 12 last night. I reminisce what happened a year ago. When the clock striked 12. I set my mind on forgetting all that have happened in 2009, and the years before. All that have past, it’s gone. In 2010, I’ll make sure everything go right. I’m going to hold on, no matter how tough things might get. I’m not going to break so easily like how i did in the past. I’ll stay strong.
Cheers to 2010. A new beginning.
So much for the last day of 2009. Arranged to meet up with biggest bully at 9am. But pig, he woke up late. So i went down to his block to wait for him. I was so happy cause i told him that we’ll be going to east coast park ( i mean like, this is my first proper plan. I’ve never planed outings before and i thought of planning one since it’s the last day of 2009! *how? are you feeling guilty? :D*) I wore my swim suit under my outfit. And i wore a top, short and a pair of slippers ( i mean like duh, go beach wear slippers right?) Who knows, bully said oh, will perspire etc.. And! I remembered that his legs were hurting the day before. So, we ended up taking a bus to suntec. God, i felt like killing myself. I-WAS-WEARING-SLIPPERS-YO! In addition, a set of swim wear beneath. Awesome!
Another awesome thing happened. We were walking and bird’s droppings landed on bully’s shoulders. ( HEEEE, fortunately, my shoulders aren’t broad ) He was so calm ( don’t know is act one or what lo! ) . While on the other hand, i felt shocked . I wanted to give him a helping hand and clean it for him. But i was wayyyy too afraid. Haha! That bird’s dropping is great. You see, i’ve always have this habit of walking on the left, and i love resting my chin on his shoulders. How to do that when there’s remains of bird’s dropping! Sucha awesome day for the last day of the year uh?
Nevertheless, today’s another fulfilling day! ♥
Happy New Year in advance!
Once, the word love seemed so foreign to me.
It’s the passion, the feelings and not just lust. Never understand how someone could actually kiss random people they meet in clubs. If you’re just going for looks or size perhaps even wealth, it isn’t love. Love, allows you the ability to forgive, get disappointed instead of angry. It’s like missing your lover, although he’s just right beside you, and you realise that each time you’re going to meet up, your heartbeat escalates. Your palms get sweaty.Your feets just carry the weight of it’s owner so quickly. The way you can get so comfortable with him that falling asleep isn’t a problem. It is how you put him before yourself. Love due to lust dont last.
So many, they leave the person they love for the person they like. Perhaps, they just couldn’t resist the physical attraction the 3rd party has. Or perhaps, they just can’t wait. They leave while their other half is in army.
For me, i wouldn’t do that. It’s a promise.
My lifetime camwhore partner ♥
silly and i arranged to meet up at his house bustop yesterday. So i happily head down as early as 8.50 to wait for bus 506. In the bus, i was panicking like mad because i dont know where to alight. In the end i alighted a stop earlier. Mind you, that one stop earlier is damn far! when i saw him walking towards me, i felt bad enough already. And he succeeded in making me feel even more bad by saying ” and i thought i could meet you at my house bustop~ How ? feel bad right~ ” My eyes went teary . Not because i was angry at him. Rather, i was angry and pissed off at myself. How dumbo can i be to alight at the wrong bustop.
Guess i just got myself into deep trouble. I’ve never failed to get bullied by this big bully! ♥ Not even in the future.
Sup!
2009 is coming to an end very soon. Couldnt imagine how fast this year pass ( or is it just me? ) It might sound cliche to see this but i’ve to say that it feels as though it was just yesterday that i’ve been studying all day just for that major examination. Putting that aside, I’m just so sure that everyone has his/her own goal for the new year! Cant wait to accomplish them! That is if i’m able to do it!
So, here it goes :
Study hard and get into Director’s honour list (DHL)
Lose weight
I’ve such simple goals :D
Ciao!
ps: MERRY CHRISTMAS!
